In truth, I would feel far less vulnerable were I passionate about minimalism, macrame, Yatzhee® or vegetarian cooking. You know, something "normal". Something normal and definitely not so deeply personal...
But no, curious little space oddity me has the undeniable (I’ve tried to deny it, continuously) urge to explore, to self-experiment and to share discoveries around all things self-belief, courage, confidence, mindset, motivation and empowering ourselves. Crucial life skills as I see them.
Mostly because I know how it hurts, painfully in your beating heart, when it feels like there's no one encouraging or affirming you. None more so though, than when you’re not doing it for yourself.
Here we are then. Albeit sometimes somewhat awkwardly. But I'm getting to be more and more OK with this
So, a little bit about me for the stalker in you...
...because it pays to be relatable apparently, but hmmm how much to reveal?? Let's just start and see how we get on...
Deep thinker. Sometimes maybe too deep (shut up mind!) The quintessential observer. I also concur that you’ve definitely gotta watch the quiet ones, because there’s heaps more going on in the inside than the loud or foolish can often like to assume.
Feeler of all the feelings. Intuitive. Empathetic. Honest. Horizontal relaxer. Seemingly quiet until you really know me. Sometimes awkward like I said. Also tenacious, resilient, resourceful, determined, part mountain goat, process driven. Aren't I making myself sound great?!!
Born in Whanganui New Zealand in the mid-70s (long before it had the official “h”) into the very vaguely semi-famous in NZ at the time "Whitlock Sauce" clan, if you're old enough to remember that far back. My parents split up when I was 4yo and we moved around quite a bit after that, with Mum and my bros, to different places and schools and contortions and such. The family pickle biz was sold on when I was still a kid, with tragically no allowance made for my trust fund. IMHO the sauces have never tasted quite the same since!
Wanting AT life, I transplanted myself an hour up the track to the metropolis of Palmy North for work as soon as I left school. Before setting off on that Kiwi right of passage escapade of escapades, my Big OE. Which was fun, daring, adventurous, eye-opening & wonderfully messy for a shy-ish but ever curious girl from the mighty Manawatu.
Returning to NZ to live just in time to see in the new millennium ...with a husband who turned out not to be so nice; clearly not one of my better moves ...but you know, you chalk it up to experience and first marriages don't count is a motto I now wholeheartedly subscribe to. Divorcee turned commitment-phobe by 27. First-time (and single) mum at 39. So, very much a late bloomer in the love, family & sense of security department.
However, as I write this, ensconced here in provincial Nelson with my peanut butter fiancé (the complete extrovert to my much more introverted tendencies) and my amazing son. Where the sun shines almost continuously, as do the folk. Which goes to show I think, that unexpectedly good things can happen to anyone. Even though most people - including myself - had largely given up hope that I would ever 'settle down'. My grandma would also be proud, being as she always substituted anything missing with peanut butter in her cooking when alive. I'm also fairly certain this wasn't how she died.
Greatest fears include: stagnation & letting my world shrink to the point where end up writing copious letters to the editor for reasons of both complaint and excitement, so do like my big city fixes for perspective. Superficial small talk & being made the centre of attention can also give me the shits somewhat at times.
Uncomfortable emotions used to 100% freak me out, but after some excellent therapy courtesy of the NZ Government (of which I'm more grateful than I could ever say) we're now much closer comrades. I realise that in fact my emotions know me better than I know myself, which is an extremely useful resource to be able to tap.
Once described by an ex (many, many moons ago) as most valuable player to take along with to unfamiliar places to help flush out sources of Pot. Before you go getting all judgey, as aforementioned I’m originally from Whanganui and was once a teenager thus. I think what said boyfriend (whose father was a cop) really meant was "streetwise" and "adaptable". Still unsure though, whether to include on my CV?
Writer; of all sorts of things. Premeditative organiser. Lover of tea, books, stationery, sunshine on my back, hot water bottle on belly in winter, bare feet in summer, essential oils, nature, warm people, interesting folk, things that feel like magic. Multiple income streams & doing things with technology online. ENCOURAGEMENT! Boots. Enthusiasm. Creativity. Imagination. A definite dry wit fan.
A huge welcome so, if you've found your way here and read all this way down to the bottom. Quite the accomplishment, I'm proud of you and thank you!
This blog is my way of thinking
My way of rooting for everyone & for myself
We’re all pretty incredible. Even if sometimes life can feel like a bit of shit show and we fall into the trap of doubting ourselves.
I am in no way masquerading as a health professional. Any content published on this website has been inspired largely by my own personal experiences or those of others, and should not be understood or construed as professional or medical health care advice. Neither is this website intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any health condition or disease. In full transparency, while aspects of this site may enable a source of income to help make its continued upkeep possible, the central focus is always encouragement which is lavished freely. Any products & services promoted have been used by me personally and shared only where I believe they may be of interest and benefit to you, dear reader.